Hi.

I know I have a blog now and everything and I even promised myself I’ll write a post every week at least. But I haven’t written one for months now. Something about it gives me so much anxiety. I always picture somebody criticising the hell out of it. And with the number of typos I make you can imagine how horrible I feel about even thinking about writing something.

But even when I do feel like writing and consciously force myself into a state of mind where I give no “you know what” about what anybody thinks, I still end up telling myself it’ll be too much of organising, which I don’t like, and too much of trying to sound like a good writer, which I am not, and only procrastinate the shit out of it every day.

That’s how I got here without posting a thing for the past three months or something. I don’t even remember anymore.

But like when you think about it, or when I thought about it, I realised that the only reason I felt so pressurised is because I keep telling myself my posts have to reach a certain standard to impress somebody. But in reality as I read everything that all of you post I realize that it’s more about connecting than it is about anything else.

I mean, yes eventually there’ll be people landing on my site just to call me out for my lack of a fancy vocabulary and my heart breakingly awful grammar, (and let’s not forget the typos). But right now. Who cares.

I’ll probably be the only one re-reading these things so many times and putting myself down unnecessarily. And if at all others join in the conversation in a negative way, in a hypothetical future, I think that’s the least I should be prepared for.

For what kind of a writer/person/breathing-human-being-with-insecurities am I, if I can’t deal with the imperfections I embody?

Peace out
💋

Damn. I’ve missed this. Hopefully I do it more often.

I mean, posting.

15 thoughts on “Hi.

  1. Hi. This is a fine piece of writing, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think everyone feels anxious about their writing, especially writing they’re going to make public, so know that you’re not alone in that. We can easily get stuck in worry over what others might think. Even though we know we can’t control them or their reactions, it’s difficult to just push that concern aside, so I’m not going to say “just do it” or anything trite like that. Still, it does get easier with practice and time, and there are way many more supportive people than there are critics, at least that’s what I’ve found. And there’s a satisfaction that comes with hitting the “Publish” button on a blog post that balances out and sometimes eliminates the anxiety … yes?

    One trick that has helped me is this: While I do proofread my writing several times, I also use a text-to-speech tool to have the computer read it aloud to me before I post it. There are different ways to do this: in the past, I’ve used software called TextAloud; used the “Read Aloud” capability in Microsoft Word; and used browser extensions. Currently I use a Mac computer and it’s built into the operating system, so I can select text on a web page and have the computer read it out loud while I follow along. Things like missing words, repetitious phrases, grammatical errors, and even missing punctuation are so much easier to find that way, and I get a better sense of how the writing flows by listening to the computer read it. I had the computer read your post to me: It sounded really good!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s actually a great idea. I’m going to try it out sometime. And thanks for your words. Meant a lot 💗🌌

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi, welcome back! 🤗 This post touched my heart, your honesty and your courage, your beautiful way of building bonds…these are qualities that overpass the typos (I did not noticed any!), this is the real essence of blogging.
    Thank you for writing this way, I can’t wait to read more of your heartfelt, kind, beautiful posts! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww thank you. This touched my heart. I’ll make sure to keep writing :’) ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve been blogging for 6 years and have never been criticized by anyone. Generally, it’s a great community out here, and I’ve found that other bloggers are very kind. So, go ahead, and blog away!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Just write! The people who like it don’t care about that stuff, and the people who care about that stuff probably don’t matter.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That makes a lot of sense! Thanks. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  5. And I had been wondering where have you disappeared! Glad to see you back.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha thanks. Just been busy worrying about my life. I’ll make sure to write more often from now ❤🐧

      Like

  6. Very nice and real post, Almandyne. I understand how you feel and feel the same because I am lucky to find the time/energy/inspiration to post once a month, but I still enjoy sharing my thoughts and joys with my few followers. It is your sensitivity that dogs you with insecurity and anxiety, but it is also your sensitivity that makes you a good writer, which you ARE! Don’t deprive us of what you have to say, it is valuable! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. We all connect through the conversational power of storytelling. When your words are written with sincerity they will always lead your readers on a path of introspective understanding and provide youyou to emotional self-realization.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You are right about how challenging it can be to maintain a writing regimen, particularly if your goal is to regularly present writing which represents your best efforts. It’s unlikely that any serious writer at any level of expertise would claim never to have any doubts about the quality of their work, but as creative writers we aren’t really able to be completely objective about that and you really have to allow for periods of uncertainty and being less productive, since they are inevitable no matter what you are striving to accomplish.

    I appreciate your interest in my writing and intend to follow here to see what you come up with as you go forward. Keep looking ahead and give yourself whatever time you need to make progress in your writing. You’re doing great so far.

    Kind regards….John H.

    Liked by 1 person

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